The Comparison Thief

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else. — Galatians 6:4

Last week, as my daughter prepared for her Earth Day chapel presentation on creation, we talked about various aspects of creativity, including what stifles it. When I said, “comparison is the thief of creativity,” she replied, “Wow! I’m definitely putting that quote in my powerpoint!!”

The more I thought about it, the more I realized the deep damage that comparison does to us emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and physically. It is indeed a thief of creativity, but it also robs us of so much more.

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Get Out!!!

The muggy air was so thick the weatherman described it as “air you wear.” I absolutely didn’t feel like going outside, especially since my task that day was to tackle the overgrown weeds in the garden. But my schedule didn’t allow for another day, so out I went. 

And I’m so glad I did. I learned so many valuable lessons that day that I started taking notes so as not to forget. While I was outside up to my elbows in dirt, neighbors passed by, either by car or walking. I looked a mess and felt a little self-conscious, but the lessons learned were well worth it.

One of those lessons was simply the act of going out.

Be A Sheep!

I was a sheep yesterday.

I didn’t plan to be a sheep. After a particularly long work day, I planned to put my feet up, zone out a little on Facebook, and maybe get to bed early in preparation for a big event the next night.

But a tiny sentence on Facebook set in motion other plans. A friend asking for prayer indicated she was down, at “rock bottom.” Struggles that had been increasing in the past year now threatened to sink her.

When troubles strike...

It was my first visit ever to the gynecologist. I never felt so awkward and uncomfortable. But nothing prepared me for the words I heard the doctor say to the nurse standing by the door taking notes.

“blah, blah, blah, a tumor, about 10 centimeters, blah, blah, blah, blah…..”

Woah! Hold on there! Did I hear that correctly?

But the doctor wasn’t speaking to me. I might as well have been a slab of beef he was inspecting before throwing on the grill.

Later in his office, he explained that, Yes I had a very large (“the size of a small cantaloupe”) tumor on my ovary. It was almost certainly benign, but would have to be taken out the old-fashioned way with a slice across my abdomen, hip to hip. Really, God?  

Through a series of events, misadventures, and clear leading by the Lord, I ended up switching doctors, hospitals, even cities (from NJ to NYC) just days before the surgery.  I clearly sensed God directly me every step of the way and was practically floating as I experienced His peace that passes understanding in a whole new way.  

While I was in the hospital for a week post-surgery, my new boyfriend (now my husband of 26 years) came to visit and shared a Scripture verse with me -

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God”. 2 Cor. 1:3-4

It was nice of him to mention it, but frankly I didn’t identify with it at all. In my hubris, I thought I knew all the Scriptures that would apply to my situation, and that one just wasn’t one of them. Or so I thought.

For the rest of the story, click here to Laced With Grace. 

 ps - As many of you know, I'm the co-founder of Justice Network, an organization dedicated to raising awareness of human trafficking and showing ways to make a difference from here. Our current initiative is a social media campaign using this Sunday's Super Bowl as a way to raise awareness of the issue. We call it the #HTchallenge. We're asking people to go to our website  [www.htchallenge.net] and share our images, quotes, and stats on facebook, twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, your favorite social media using the hashtag #HTchallenge. All the information, talking points, etc. are on the website. 

Part of the challenge is also to "donate" a tweet/post that will be published simultaneously with hundreds of others during the halftime show. To register:

1. Click here: http://bit.ly/1eFBIAI
2. Click the button for Twitter and/or Facebook
3. Click “add my support”

Thank you for helping in this worthy cause!

Hang In There!!

There they sit, like giant beached whales. Mounds of snow, at the edges of fences, by the sides of highways, in corners of parking lots, our lawns still cloaked in white. The recent rain, wind and warmer weather washed away much of the snow; yet there still remain piles of graying white.

 

 

Each of those snowflakes that fell en masse last December were so delicate, it’s amazing that they are still present a month later. What can we learn from these fragile flakes that have such staying power? 

1. They stick together. 
Despite the fact that one person can make a difference - which I absolutely believe - it is also true that there is power in numbers. 
 
We simply were not made to go it alone. God made us to be part of a body, His body. He made us for fellowship. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another. Heb 10:25 
 
God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness..." Gen 1:26 He is one God, but He is a plural God (like one family or one class or one snowstorm are singular, yet plural.) He is in fellowship with Himself. We are made in His image, and therefore, we need to be in the fellowship of believers. We are made that way for a reason. We are stronger together than we are alone. 
 
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Eccl. 4:12
 
2. They were pushed out of their comfort zone.
Oh, it’s so much easier to stay within our comfort zone, isn’t it? But those flakes that remained so comfortable out on the open lawn were the first ones to melt away. It was the plowed flakes, the ones that got pushed and shoved around that remained. If the snowflakes could speak, they would say that it sure didn’t feel good at the time. To the snowflake, the plow seemed brutal, a real bully. But it was precisely because it yielded to the plow that it survived. 
 
When we don’t understand our circumstances or we have to change our status quo, we have to recognize that there is Someone greater than ourselves in control, Someone who has our best interests at heart. 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11
 
Recently, a friend shared this excellent quote with me:

"Comfort is the breeding ground for mediocrity. Hardship makes you find your greatness."

If you’ve been trying to go it alone or if you’ve been facing a difficult struggle, hang in there. Remember the frail snowflake that first arrived a month ago and is still hanging around; and recognize that you are on the road to greatness!

January is Human Trafficking Awareness month. Tonight January 15, the NJ Coalition is hosting a Human Trafficking Awareness Event:

New Jersey’s Annual Human Trafficking Awareness Day Observance will feature performances including the premier of “A Day In the Life," singer/songwriter Courtney Wong, and the Justice Movement Dancers among other influentials. January 15, 7:00 pm, Bergen Performing Arts Center (PAC), Englewood. Click Here for more info and to RSVP >>

What Not To Wear

My 9 year old self LOVED to dress up!

It’s October 31^st and millions of people will spend billions of dollars to eat candy and dress up as someone (or something) else today. It may be fun to dress up as someone else for an event. But what about when we habitually wear an invisible mask to hide who we really are, when we pretend to be someone we’re not.


To read more, click over to Laced With Grace. And please leave me a comment. You know I love to hear from you! 


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Just Too Busy

Just Too Busy is for anyone who is... well, just too busy! And since I don't know anyone who isn't too busy, I guess this book is for you, especially if you are the chief cook, chauffer, maid, nurse, sideline coach, and/or tutor in your household.

For me, this book is more than just a good read. It is the culmination of a dream of a dear friend. Joanne Kraft and I met at my first writers’ conference. We shared a lunch, a prayer, and the beginning of a cherished friendship. At that conference, a master discourager tried to convince Joanne to abandon writing her book, devastating news for any writer. After buckets of tears, hugs, prayers, and a phone call home, wise words from her husband Paul [“Remember Who told you to write this book…”] brought clarity and peace to both of us.

In her ‘day’ job, Joanne is a 911 operator, and she has saved me from disaster on more than one occasion. We may live a continent apart, but when we talk, it’s as if we’re sitting across the table from each other.

And when you read her book, it’s as if she’s sitting across the table from you, sharing her personal experience of her family’s victory over busyness. Joanne speaks and writes with sidesplitting humor. She’ll make you laugh, and make you cry, but mostly laugh.

Here’s the official blurb about her book:

• Just Too Busy is the true story of the Kraft family’s head-on collision with busyness and the twelve-month experiment that changed their lives. When their children could recite the dollar value meals at McDonalds faster than their times-tables, they knew something was very wrong. So, instead of continuing their bad habits and fitting more into their schedules, they took a year off from all activities and learned how to be a family again. 
• In this book, readers will laugh their way to learning the ten tell-tale signs that they are too busy and discover the symptoms for a common disorder known to moms today: A.D.D. (Activity Denial Disorder). Families will find simple ways to guard themselves from the temptation of constant distraction.

Even though my children are young adults now, I found myself relating to the busyness that Joanne describes. Overcommitment is something that I regularly have to guard against. In the first chapter, Joanne says, “even the good things in life can become the enemy of the best things in life.”

To combat what she calls the “captivity of activity,” Joanne and her family took a year-long “radical sabbatical.” They stopped almost all extracurricular activity and learned what it means to spend time together as a family. Just Too Busy takes us through their experiences, high and low, and provides insight and advice to anyone looking to simplify life. You don’t need to go on a radical sabbatical yourself to enjoy and apply the principles in this book.

Because I know you’ll love it, I’m giving away a copy of Just Too Busy! To enter the drawing, share a comment with me – either here on the blog, on facebook, or in an email reply. Let me know why you’d like to read it or share your funniest busy story.

  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFO3DUeiReU&feature=youtu.be

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Finishing Well

Many thanks to all for your prayers and good wishes for AJ. He finished well!  He experienced some knee and hamstring issues about 3/4 through, but pressed on. 


He finished in 3:22:19.62 (8 minutes ahead of his goal time) qualifying him for the Boston Marathon. He placed #114 out of 1856 runners and in the top ten of runners age 20 -24 (he's 20). 


Here's some pics (thanks to Lauren, Anita, and Phi Sigma Kappa):

bright and early - start of a great day

before the race - mental prep

crossing the mile 4 & 8 bridge

"AJ's running a marathon, yet still takes great pictures" Dave M.

"gonna fly now" (Eye of the Tiger - Rocky theme)

greeting his Phi Sig brothers at mile 11

approaching mile 23 hydration station (leading the 2nd pack)

mile 23 - recharged!! 

heading home!

"cue Chariots of Fire music here" Lauren

roommate James running the last mile with him

FINISH LINE!!! 

"Run in such a way as to get the prize

...to get a crown that will last forever."

1 Cor. 9:24-25

I'm so proud of this boy. He sure isn't perfect that I know. I don't want to be  one of those blind "can you top this" moms. But he accomplished what few do. 

And it wasn't just completing the marathon. 

He had over 30 supporters there - family, school friends, church friends. These wonderful people to whom I am most grateful sacrificed time and money to be there at the crack of dawn and lend their support to this zany kid ("he's the happiest runner" Dave M). I know others wanted to be there, but supported him in other ways. Why? One of his fraternity brothers summed it up in a text "AJ's always there for us. Let's be there for him."  

We reap what we sow (Gal. 6:8). Sunday's victory was not gained on that day. It was the months of preparation that allowed him to go the distance. And the support that he received was because of his daily investment in the lives of others, over months and years of relationship.

"whoever sows generously will also reap generously." 2 Cor. 9:6

http://www.razoo.com/story/Ajpanzica

Can You Top This?

Heading to my brother's home a few weeks ago, I passed a line of newspaper boxes. A closer look made me laugh out loud.

In the center was a box selling The Times,

with a sign stating  "No. 1 with Readers."  

To the left of The Times was a box selling The Trentonian,

boasting a sign declaring "AHEAD of the TIMES."

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Reminds me of some people I know - the "Can you top this?" syndrome:

"I had a such a busy day today. Couldn't even stop for lunch."

     "Well, my day was so busy, I didn't have breakfast, lunch or dinner."

"My daughter played varsity soccer."

     "My daughter was MVP in soccer, basketball and lacrosse."

"I enjoyed my trip so much, I took over 100 pictures."

     "Well, on my last trip, I took over 400 pictures."

"My mom was such a good cook, we never wanted to eat out."

     "My mom was such a great cook, she was featured in Gourmet magazine."

"My son was on the honor roll."

     "Well, my son was valedictorian."

"As a kid, we were so poor we didn't have paper to do our homework."

     "Well, I was so poor, we didn't have toilet paper."

You know people like this. As you start to share your story, their minds are only half-listening, just waiting for the moment to share their own better-than-yours story. They can be sad/sadder stories OR good/better stories OR funny/funnier stories. It doesn't matter. What matters is that that person's story tops yours in some way.

I imagine the people who lived in Corinth were like this. One-third of all the references of the word "boast" in Scripture can be found in Paul's two letters to the Corinthians. His many comments on boasting can be summed up like this:

• Love doesn't boast. But if you must boast, let it be about the Lord or about your weaknesses in which the Lord's power is glorified.*

Can you top that? ;)

*Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:31

*Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4

*But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Hang in there!!

There they sit, like giant beached whales. Mounds of snow, at the edges of fences, by the sides of highways, in corners of parking lots. For the entire winter, our lawns were cloaked in white. The recent rain, wind and warmer weather washed away much of the snow; yet there still remain piles of graying white.

Each of those snowflakes that fell en masse last December were so delicate, it’s amazing that they are still present in March. What can we learn from these fragile flakes that have such staying power?

1. They stick together.
Despite the fact that one person can make a difference - which I absolutely believe - it is also true that there is power in numbers.
.
We simply were not made to go it alone. God made us to be part of a body, His body. He made us for fellowship. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another. Heb 10:25
.
God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness..." Gen 1:26 He is one God, but He is a plural God (like one family or one class or one snowstorm are singular, yet plural.) He is in fellowship with Himself. We are made in His image, and therefore, we need to be in the fellowship of believers. We are made that way for a reason. We are stronger together than we are alone.
.
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Eccl. 4:12
.
2. They were pushed out of their comfort zone.
Oh, it’s so much easier to stay within our comfort zone, isn’t it? But those flakes that remained so comfortable out on the open lawn were the first ones to melt away. It was the plowed flakes, the ones that got pushed and shoved around that remained. If the snowflakes could speak, they would say that it sure didn’t feel good at the time. To the snowflake, the plow seemed brutal, a real bully. But it was precisely because it yielded to the plow that it survived.
.
When we don’t understand our circumstances or we have to change our status quo, we have to recognize that there is Someone greater than ourselves in control, Someone who has our best interests at heart.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11
.
Recently, a friend shared this excellent quote with me:
"Comfort is the breeding ground for mediocrity. Hardship makes you find your greatness."

If you’ve been trying to go it alone or if you’ve been facing a difficult struggle, hang in there. Remember the frail snowflake that first arrived in December and is still hanging around in March; and recognize that you are on the road to greatness!


 

ps - the winner of our giveaway book The Hole In Our Gospel is Marja Meijers. Congratulations Marja, and thank you so much for your encouraging comments and for sharing Eternity Cafe.

Candy-Grams

Have you ever met someone and instantly connected? That is what happened in NC when I met my very dear friend, Joanne Kraft, from Blessed and Grace and Truth Living. Though we live a continent apart, it's as if she's right next door. Her writing is filled with humor, and today - a little lump in the throat.


 

For unto us a child is born, unto us a child is given. Isaiah 9:6

For God so loved the world that He gave…John 3:16

Unfolding a piece of paper, Grace began reading off a list of names. “Jaden, Michael, Jake, Brittany, and Jessie...”

“What are you doing honey?” I asked.

“Our school is selling candy-grams, Mom. For $1.00 I can send a message and have a candy cane delivered to someone’s home room.” She smiled.

I know all of Grace’s closest friends and had never heard these names before. At eleven-years-old, her only income came from occasional babysitting jobs. Five dollars might very well clean out her piggy bank.

“Sweetheart, who are these children? Aren’t you getting one for Mackenzie?”

“I decided to do something different. Mackenzie is still one of my best friends, but she will get lots of candy grams. I decided to send them to kids in my school who might not get one.”

A lump began to form in my throat.

“Jaden is autistic. He sits by himself at lunch. Michael is really, really smart and gets made fun of by the popular kids. Jake is the boy I told you about at the library, the one who walks kind of funny, remember? He offered to give me his seat and girls walked by him and whispered, Jake-alert. Jake-alert. I could tell he felt bad. Kids encouraged Brittany to dance at lunch last week. She thought they were being nice, but they were really being mean. And, Jessie, well she is kind of chubby and sits by herself in class and doesn’t talk much.”

My child went on and on with her reasons for giving—I couldn’t help but whisper a prayer of thanks for my daughters’ heart. “What are you going to write in their message?” I asked.

“I’m not sure. I think I’m just going to write, Merry Christmas – God Loves You.”

“I’m sure they will love it.” I reached out and pulled her in for a hug.

God so loved the world that He gave. This Christmas season encourage your children to give anonymously. Lead by example and show them how it’s done.


• Drop off a plate of cookies on your neighbor’s front porch, ring their doorbell and run!


• Write out a Christmas card for someone and fill it with reasons why this person is loved by you. Don’t sign your name. Have your child address it and drop it in the mail.


• Take your child with you to the grocery store. Have them help you pick out food for someone in you know is hurting financially. Let your child drop the bag off at the house.

Remember, we are loved by a God who gives lavishly. Let’s remember to touch the lives of someone in His name by giving.

Who can you give to this holiday season?

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Touched By An Angel

... some people have entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2

Last night, we celebrated the birthday of our dear friend, Mark. Friends and family gathered together with lots of food, music, and laughter as we shared memories of the funny and poignant times spent with Mark.

For years, my daughter and her friends honestly believed that Mark was an angel. Many other children believed that as well. It was easy to believe. In fact, I believe it myself :)

Mark was and is a prayer warrior. Years ago, before one of my first speaking engagements, I was terrified. Put me in a circle of friends, and I can jabber all day. But standing in front of people is another story. You've heard that public speaking is the #1 fear in this country, right? It's a studied fact. The #2 fear in this country is death. That means that at a funeral the average person would rather be in the casket than delivering the eulogy! Ok, that last sentence was borrowed from Jerry Seinfeld, but it's true, isn't it! I still get butterflies when I have to speak, but I've learned that the fear keeps me on my knees and not relying in my own strength which is a good thing. But anyway.... Here I was, knees buckling, stomach churning, reviewing my notes endlessly. And Mark called to let me know he was praying for me. I hadn't asked him to pray. He just knew the need, and his call letting me know that he was praying could not have been more welcome. Here was this man of God praying for a women's event!

There's so much more I could say about this faithful servant and friend, but let me ask you: do you have a Mark in your life? If you are as blessed as my friends and I, please be sure to thank your angel. And share a comment of how that special person has blessed your life.

Be Our Guest! Wow - I'm a Guest!

One of the best things about blogging is the friendships you develop in the "blog-o-sphere."  My friend, Joanne from California, is one of those friends. We met at the She Speaks conference when I had no idea what I was even doing there. It was a God thing, to be sure. It was part of my "Get Smart" year where God opened doors for me, like the opening credits of the TV show and movie where Maxwell Smart walked through doors he didn't open. For the first time in my life, I (like Max) walked through doors rather than run the other direction. Joanne, a gifted writer, was there to meet me after walking through the doors, an accomplished Agent 99 to my bumbling Maxwell Smart.

After initially meeting over lunch, we sat in on a session that we thought would be helpful. Instead, as Joanne says, she received "some disappointing news from a woman who was an over-achiever in the discouragement department." So later, when Joanne had to leave for her publisher interview, she was understandably anxious. Rather than say (as I usually would) "I'll pray for you," I felt strongly impressed by God to pray WITH her, not just FOR her, to pray OVER her, not just ABOUT her. So right there, in the front row of the conference room, we 3 had a little heavenly tête-à-tête, Joanne, me and God. Normally apprehensive about putting myself out there, Joanne helped me learn a little about walking in obedience. And though the verse Eccl. 4:12 is often used in weddings, Solomon is also talking about friendship, and that afternoon it was alive for me:
"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Joanne is a gifted writer, often with side-splitting humor. This month, Joanne is using her newly renovated corner of the web to interview some blog-friends, including me! She's such a good friend, I don't even mind that she called me an "oxymoron."

You can read her interview with me here.

Thanks Joanne. May God continue to use you abundantly.
Susan